Making it Through the Holiday's Dr. Dale Byers
Dale Byers
The holidays can be difficult when a loved one is away from home. Death or circumstances may separate us from a loved one. Those who have served in the military or had a loved one in the military understand how difficult the holidays can be. Grieving is a process. You don’t just get out of bed one day and the grief is all gone. Special days like birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and family reunions all cause our sorrow to resurface. Learning how to enjoy your holidays can be an important step in your healing process. People vary as to how they handle those special days. Here are a few things that have helped us as a family.
Remember your loved ones and the blessings they have brought into your life. While our son was in the military, he purchased a set of silverware for my wife and me. It took a long time on his military income to pay for the gift. Each Thanksgiving or Christmas when we are home, my wife sets the table with the silverware, and the good china which was owned by our mothers. When we thank God for our food, we give thanks for the blessings which our loved ones have brought into our lives. My father was born on November 13, 1913; so the number 13 has always been a good number for me. Each year on his birthday I put on his shoes and wear them to remind me that I have some big shoes to fill. Betty and I are thankful for both of our fathers, our mothers, and our five sons and eleven grandchildren. We love to review the blessings they have given to us and discuss them around the table. There are many ways to remember our loved ones.
Reject those thoughts or habits which defeat us. If we permit it, our grief can bring us to depression. You must determine to put away past arguments, failures, harsh words, or events that cause bad thoughts to resurface. We are instructed in 2 Cor. 10:4-5 to bring every thought to the obedience of Christ. He does not want us to dwell on those things which defeat or render us helpless or sad. You must determine not to allow those thoughts to hold you captive. Allow Christ to take control of your thoughts. Reading the Bible is the best way to allow God to take charge of your mind. The Psalms especially soothe the hurting soul, and give help for our thinking processes. Rom. 12:2 informs us that we are to renew our mind. Consider your mind as a card catalogue with memories on each card. If a card surfaces with a bad memory, discard it and ask the Lord to help you to remove it from the card file of your mind.
Reclaim your life, and renew your commitment to live the abundant life. During the holidays make certain you enjoy each day that you live. Recommit yourself to make the most of what you have. Try to enjoy the company of your living loved ones. Don’t sit at home and sulk. The holidays are wonderful times of the year, and God wants you to get on with your life and enjoy the opportunities around you. Think of ways you can help other people. Giving gifts will bring blessings any time of the year, but especially at Christmas. The best way to get your mind off of your loneliness and your grief is to place your thinking on the needs of others.
Renew your relationship with the Lord. Nothing in life will be quite right if you are not right with God. Money cannot buy happiness, and gold cannot purchase health; but if your soul is right with God, you can have peace and joy even though the times are hard. Find a good church where the Bible is preached and its truths are lived by the congregation.
ONE THING TO DO: If you have a loved one who is away from home, or if a loved one has passed away, encourage your heart by celebrating their life with your loved ones. Do not sit at home alone and discouraged. Invite your family or another loved one to join you. Ask each one who comes to share a fond memory of your loved one.
ONE THING TO PRAY: Father in Heaven, you know how much I miss my loved one. Help me to share your love with others. Please use my loneliness to be a blessing to others in their hurt.
Dales book, Suicide How God Sustained a Family, published by Regular Baptist Press is available at Amazon etc. The account of how God helped when his son ended his life by his own hand. God uses this book to help thousands find hope and go in life with victory. This book is being widely used in our area.
Remember your loved ones and the blessings they have brought into your life. While our son was in the military, he purchased a set of silverware for my wife and me. It took a long time on his military income to pay for the gift. Each Thanksgiving or Christmas when we are home, my wife sets the table with the silverware, and the good china which was owned by our mothers. When we thank God for our food, we give thanks for the blessings which our loved ones have brought into our lives. My father was born on November 13, 1913; so the number 13 has always been a good number for me. Each year on his birthday I put on his shoes and wear them to remind me that I have some big shoes to fill. Betty and I are thankful for both of our fathers, our mothers, and our five sons and eleven grandchildren. We love to review the blessings they have given to us and discuss them around the table. There are many ways to remember our loved ones.
Reject those thoughts or habits which defeat us. If we permit it, our grief can bring us to depression. You must determine to put away past arguments, failures, harsh words, or events that cause bad thoughts to resurface. We are instructed in 2 Cor. 10:4-5 to bring every thought to the obedience of Christ. He does not want us to dwell on those things which defeat or render us helpless or sad. You must determine not to allow those thoughts to hold you captive. Allow Christ to take control of your thoughts. Reading the Bible is the best way to allow God to take charge of your mind. The Psalms especially soothe the hurting soul, and give help for our thinking processes. Rom. 12:2 informs us that we are to renew our mind. Consider your mind as a card catalogue with memories on each card. If a card surfaces with a bad memory, discard it and ask the Lord to help you to remove it from the card file of your mind.
Reclaim your life, and renew your commitment to live the abundant life. During the holidays make certain you enjoy each day that you live. Recommit yourself to make the most of what you have. Try to enjoy the company of your living loved ones. Don’t sit at home and sulk. The holidays are wonderful times of the year, and God wants you to get on with your life and enjoy the opportunities around you. Think of ways you can help other people. Giving gifts will bring blessings any time of the year, but especially at Christmas. The best way to get your mind off of your loneliness and your grief is to place your thinking on the needs of others.
Renew your relationship with the Lord. Nothing in life will be quite right if you are not right with God. Money cannot buy happiness, and gold cannot purchase health; but if your soul is right with God, you can have peace and joy even though the times are hard. Find a good church where the Bible is preached and its truths are lived by the congregation.
ONE THING TO DO: If you have a loved one who is away from home, or if a loved one has passed away, encourage your heart by celebrating their life with your loved ones. Do not sit at home alone and discouraged. Invite your family or another loved one to join you. Ask each one who comes to share a fond memory of your loved one.
ONE THING TO PRAY: Father in Heaven, you know how much I miss my loved one. Help me to share your love with others. Please use my loneliness to be a blessing to others in their hurt.
Dales book, Suicide How God Sustained a Family, published by Regular Baptist Press is available at Amazon etc. The account of how God helped when his son ended his life by his own hand. God uses this book to help thousands find hope and go in life with victory. This book is being widely used in our area.