Larry Lilly's Journal Please Your Wife? Really? Vol 19 Issue 10 Oct. 2017
Larry, the Coffee Drinking AM Hawk
1Corinthians 7:32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord--how he may please the Lord.
33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world--how he may please his wife.
34 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world--how she may please her husband. (NKJV).
The above verses are heavy in the truth about married life. I read an interesting piece that explains the dilemma face by married men, I like it so I share it with you:
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.
The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over any time I want.”
The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify Me.”
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing is wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”
The Lord replied: “You want two or four lanes on that bridge?”
Keep in mind verse 34 posits the same dilemma to the women, how she may please her husband. I suppose God could give men and women a Power Point outline on how this pleasing works, but in His infinite wisdom He leaves it to us to figure out the secret of pleasing one another.
The more astute biblical students among us may suspect that the answer is within the verses, as well as other sites in scripture. It’s really glaring once you see it. I am convinced I see it, but only partially. The partial part that I see does help a lot. I do admit to settling for a bridge to Hawaii!
Joyce and I have been involved in marital conflict for 53 years. Notice how a small rearranging on the letters in “marital” becomes “martial” and the idea of war raises its head. The war is basically complicated. This war spins on several axes, the world, the flesh, the devil, the man, and the woman. The world in Paul’s context does not seem to be evil, but the world of necessity, i.e. the needs of each other, the place to live, the income producing labor, the care of children, the male role defined biblically, the role of the woman also defined biblically, personal growth, and finally, the expectations of the Lord for the man and the woman.
Abraham Maslow, probably unaware of scriptural teaching laid out what Paul is sharing as guidelines to true effective marital life.
Air, water, and food are metabolic requirements for survival in all animals, including humans. Clothing and shelter provide necessary protection from the elements. While maintaining an adequate birth rate shapes the intensity of the human sexual instinct, sexual competition may also shape said instinct.
Personal security, Financial security, Health and well-being, Safety net against accidents/illness, and their adverse impacts.
Social Belonging, Friendships, Intimacy, Family
Esteem, Respect, Self-Respect, Self Esteem, Appreciation.
Self-Actualization, “Strive to be the best you can be!”
Self-Transcendence, Serving a person or cause higher than yourself.
If each person in any relationship thinks the world revolves around them, there is little hope for a truce! I challenge you to think through what Paul is saying, and take a lingering look at the known needs of normal humans, (Maslow studied the top 1% of people in his world, unlike Kinsey whose ideas are largely based on his study of convicts).
For Christians, the “greater” person or cause is Jesus Christ, and the couple who understands His teaching regarding our love and care for each other as we love and serve Him, the less our conflict will be.
Christ loves past the point of giving Himself for loved ones. He did this based on grace alone, thus anything He receives in return is welcomed, but NOT demanded. He knows, and so must we learn, demanding love, respect, or esteem, leads to disappointment. The best way to receive love, respect or esteem is to give it first. Christ asks for love, as in the case of Peter. Once Peter accepted this great love, his entire inner life was changed and he acted out this change even to his own martyrdom. Dying to self is the key truth here. Try it and you will be amazed at how powerful it is in marriage and other human relationships.
Carrying about the other involves being aware of the others struggles.
Mary Carolyn Davies wrote:
If I Had Known
“If I had known what troubles your bearing;
What griefs were in the silence of your face;
I would have been more gentle, and more caring,
And tried to give you gladness for a space.
I would have brought more warmness into the place,
If I had known
If I had known what thoughts despairing drew you;
(Why do we never try to understand?)
I would have lent a little friendship to you,
And slipped my hand within your hand,
And made your stay more pleasant in the land,
If had known.***
33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world--how he may please his wife.
34 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world--how she may please her husband. (NKJV).
The above verses are heavy in the truth about married life. I read an interesting piece that explains the dilemma face by married men, I like it so I share it with you:
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, “Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.
The man said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over any time I want.”
The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify Me.”
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing is wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”
The Lord replied: “You want two or four lanes on that bridge?”
Keep in mind verse 34 posits the same dilemma to the women, how she may please her husband. I suppose God could give men and women a Power Point outline on how this pleasing works, but in His infinite wisdom He leaves it to us to figure out the secret of pleasing one another.
The more astute biblical students among us may suspect that the answer is within the verses, as well as other sites in scripture. It’s really glaring once you see it. I am convinced I see it, but only partially. The partial part that I see does help a lot. I do admit to settling for a bridge to Hawaii!
Joyce and I have been involved in marital conflict for 53 years. Notice how a small rearranging on the letters in “marital” becomes “martial” and the idea of war raises its head. The war is basically complicated. This war spins on several axes, the world, the flesh, the devil, the man, and the woman. The world in Paul’s context does not seem to be evil, but the world of necessity, i.e. the needs of each other, the place to live, the income producing labor, the care of children, the male role defined biblically, the role of the woman also defined biblically, personal growth, and finally, the expectations of the Lord for the man and the woman.
Abraham Maslow, probably unaware of scriptural teaching laid out what Paul is sharing as guidelines to true effective marital life.
Air, water, and food are metabolic requirements for survival in all animals, including humans. Clothing and shelter provide necessary protection from the elements. While maintaining an adequate birth rate shapes the intensity of the human sexual instinct, sexual competition may also shape said instinct.
Personal security, Financial security, Health and well-being, Safety net against accidents/illness, and their adverse impacts.
Social Belonging, Friendships, Intimacy, Family
Esteem, Respect, Self-Respect, Self Esteem, Appreciation.
Self-Actualization, “Strive to be the best you can be!”
Self-Transcendence, Serving a person or cause higher than yourself.
If each person in any relationship thinks the world revolves around them, there is little hope for a truce! I challenge you to think through what Paul is saying, and take a lingering look at the known needs of normal humans, (Maslow studied the top 1% of people in his world, unlike Kinsey whose ideas are largely based on his study of convicts).
For Christians, the “greater” person or cause is Jesus Christ, and the couple who understands His teaching regarding our love and care for each other as we love and serve Him, the less our conflict will be.
Christ loves past the point of giving Himself for loved ones. He did this based on grace alone, thus anything He receives in return is welcomed, but NOT demanded. He knows, and so must we learn, demanding love, respect, or esteem, leads to disappointment. The best way to receive love, respect or esteem is to give it first. Christ asks for love, as in the case of Peter. Once Peter accepted this great love, his entire inner life was changed and he acted out this change even to his own martyrdom. Dying to self is the key truth here. Try it and you will be amazed at how powerful it is in marriage and other human relationships.
Carrying about the other involves being aware of the others struggles.
Mary Carolyn Davies wrote:
If I Had Known
“If I had known what troubles your bearing;
What griefs were in the silence of your face;
I would have been more gentle, and more caring,
And tried to give you gladness for a space.
I would have brought more warmness into the place,
If I had known
If I had known what thoughts despairing drew you;
(Why do we never try to understand?)
I would have lent a little friendship to you,
And slipped my hand within your hand,
And made your stay more pleasant in the land,
If had known.***
The Book Worm's Corner. Comments From Helpful Books Joyce Lilly
Whose Child is This? Marguerite Nutting. 45 chapters, 230pgs on LuLu.com and Amazon. $13.99.
Mrs. Nutting’s story is told in short chapters, each one being what Larry calls a page turner and hanky user. Marguerite Nutting is a master story teller. Her entire adult life has prepared her for this work in her Golden Years.
Whose Child is This is NOT the typical Hallmark Hall of Fame genre novel. This book gets to our deepest fears and sympathies.
It’s amazing to me that you know people for 30-40 years and yet, you don’t know their background. Take this opening note for instance:
This book is dedicated to the memory of my parents, Frank and Vivian McCluney, who were willing, in the middle of the depression, to adopt a very forlorn, unhappy three-year-old orphan and to give her a wonderful Christian home. Thanks, Mother and Daddy, for your wisdom, your guidance and most of all, for your Sacrificial love.
We had no idea!
Marguerite stated: “Though Whose Child is This is a Christian novel it addresses many social issues that I think Christians may face today: namely abortion, adoption, abuse, rape, prodigal children, as well as Christian education, and the love and Sovereignty of God. Woven into the story is the plan of Salvation.” As you read the book it is grippingly obvious that the story accomplishes everything Marguerite stated!
Read this book. Joyce Lilly TgB
Mrs. Nutting’s story is told in short chapters, each one being what Larry calls a page turner and hanky user. Marguerite Nutting is a master story teller. Her entire adult life has prepared her for this work in her Golden Years.
Whose Child is This is NOT the typical Hallmark Hall of Fame genre novel. This book gets to our deepest fears and sympathies.
It’s amazing to me that you know people for 30-40 years and yet, you don’t know their background. Take this opening note for instance:
This book is dedicated to the memory of my parents, Frank and Vivian McCluney, who were willing, in the middle of the depression, to adopt a very forlorn, unhappy three-year-old orphan and to give her a wonderful Christian home. Thanks, Mother and Daddy, for your wisdom, your guidance and most of all, for your Sacrificial love.
We had no idea!
Marguerite stated: “Though Whose Child is This is a Christian novel it addresses many social issues that I think Christians may face today: namely abortion, adoption, abuse, rape, prodigal children, as well as Christian education, and the love and Sovereignty of God. Woven into the story is the plan of Salvation.” As you read the book it is grippingly obvious that the story accomplishes everything Marguerite stated!
Read this book. Joyce Lilly TgB
Letters and Comments
Dear Brother Larry & The Great Blonde,
I had a very interesting situation. Someone I have known for a lot of years told me that his prostate cancer has spread. He was very distraught I was able to offer him some comfort, however, it’s a lot harder when that person is a Muslim. He doesn’t have the hope that being in Christ offers. I did tell him that he is in my prayers. And he gladly accepted that. I want to keep trying to keep the door open and not push him away by trying to coldly offer him Jesus. There may be a time when he is open and I will surely be happy to lead him down the Roman’s Road.
Remember; “True humility is not looking down on yourself, but looking up to Christ!” C.A.W.
Editor’s Note: C.W.’s note is much longer, but the above is one thing that your prayers may make the difference. Brother C.W. has and is making an impact on prisoners as well as officers now for over a quarter of a century. LML.
Here’s a note from the Methodist Times U.K:
In 1788 Edward Gibbon completed his work The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, in which he listed five reasons for that fall:
Are there lessons here for us today? Sent by Mrs. Margaret Leighton, editor Good News, P.O. Box 6 Wharton, Carnforth, LA59GS UK.
**
John 15:9 As the Father loved me, I also have loved you: abide in My love.
An ancient story in Church history tells of the apostle John. He would constantly repeat the words, "Little children, love one another." And his disciples became weary of the phrase. Finally, in his old age, as John was being carried to their assembly, the disciples asked him, "Why do you always repeat these same words?" "Because friends," John replied, "it is the Lord's commandment -- and if only this one were fulfilled, it would be enough."
Worthy Brief.
**
“My pastor sat next to my father and I sat next to my pastor, My pastor showed dad John 3:16, Romans 3:10, 3:23; 6:23; 5:8;10:13, and then closed with Ephesians 2:8-9. Dad had trouble believing that God’s plan of Salvation could be that simple. He looked at the pastor and said, “But you don’t know what I have done?” The pastor replied, “Bob, the problem is you don’t know what He has done! If you knew what He has done, you would know the issue is not what you have done. The issue is that Christ died for your sins,” The pastor went through the verses again, and dad trusted Christ!” This is the account of how Dr. Phil Stringers dad received Jesus Christ as savior. Taken from Chapter 5, What About Repentance? in the great book, Evangelism Made Simple, by Dr. Jim Scudder and Dr. Phil Stringer.
I had a very interesting situation. Someone I have known for a lot of years told me that his prostate cancer has spread. He was very distraught I was able to offer him some comfort, however, it’s a lot harder when that person is a Muslim. He doesn’t have the hope that being in Christ offers. I did tell him that he is in my prayers. And he gladly accepted that. I want to keep trying to keep the door open and not push him away by trying to coldly offer him Jesus. There may be a time when he is open and I will surely be happy to lead him down the Roman’s Road.
Remember; “True humility is not looking down on yourself, but looking up to Christ!” C.A.W.
Editor’s Note: C.W.’s note is much longer, but the above is one thing that your prayers may make the difference. Brother C.W. has and is making an impact on prisoners as well as officers now for over a quarter of a century. LML.
Here’s a note from the Methodist Times U.K:
In 1788 Edward Gibbon completed his work The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, in which he listed five reasons for that fall:
- The rapid increase of divorce; the undermining of the dignity and sanctity of home, which is the basis of human society.
- Higher and higher taxes and spending of public money for free bread and circuses for the populace.
- The mad craze for pleasure; sports becoming every year more exciting and more brutal.
- The building of gigantic armaments when the real enemy was within: the decadence of the people.
- The decay of religion-faith fading into mere form-losing touch with life and becoming impotent to guide the
Are there lessons here for us today? Sent by Mrs. Margaret Leighton, editor Good News, P.O. Box 6 Wharton, Carnforth, LA59GS UK.
**
John 15:9 As the Father loved me, I also have loved you: abide in My love.
An ancient story in Church history tells of the apostle John. He would constantly repeat the words, "Little children, love one another." And his disciples became weary of the phrase. Finally, in his old age, as John was being carried to their assembly, the disciples asked him, "Why do you always repeat these same words?" "Because friends," John replied, "it is the Lord's commandment -- and if only this one were fulfilled, it would be enough."
Worthy Brief.
**
“My pastor sat next to my father and I sat next to my pastor, My pastor showed dad John 3:16, Romans 3:10, 3:23; 6:23; 5:8;10:13, and then closed with Ephesians 2:8-9. Dad had trouble believing that God’s plan of Salvation could be that simple. He looked at the pastor and said, “But you don’t know what I have done?” The pastor replied, “Bob, the problem is you don’t know what He has done! If you knew what He has done, you would know the issue is not what you have done. The issue is that Christ died for your sins,” The pastor went through the verses again, and dad trusted Christ!” This is the account of how Dr. Phil Stringers dad received Jesus Christ as savior. Taken from Chapter 5, What About Repentance? in the great book, Evangelism Made Simple, by Dr. Jim Scudder and Dr. Phil Stringer.
Page 4! God's Great Love Dale Byers
Pastor Dale Byers
GOD’S GREAT LOVE Dale Byers
Recently I was especially blessed in my study of 1 John 3:1-3 and thought perhaps you would enjoy my study as well. Often the world seems so busy, so fast and furious, that we fail to slow down and enjoy the scenery. We also miss those principles that God has intended for our lives. Those truths in God’s Book are not only a blessing to enjoy but also disciplines for our daily lives. My goal is to share with you my own individual studies found in the Word of God. Sometimes, our studies are hindered by the pressures of deadlines, or misdirected by an attempt to find something bigger. Our goal may be to please the most readers. I simply want to enjoy the Book with you. I am not out to prove any point or debate any issue or display any special gift or talent. There are so many wonderful truths in the Book. I pray that God will encourage our lives as His Word is presented.
I John 3:1-3
“Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called the children of God! Therefore, the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.”
Have you ever heard the phrase, “One thing leads to another?” There are five great principles that are presented in these verses. You will see how one principle leads to another and that principle leads to the next. Those five principles are essential for our Christian lives. Here is the way those five principles are connected in our text.
1. BEHOLDING leads to >
2. BELIEVING leads to >
3. LOVING leads to >
4. HOPING leads to >
5. LIVING
I hope you will follow with us as we consider this precious portion of God’s Holy Writ. May I suggest that you join me in memorizing these three verses and pray that God will help us live the truths that He brings into our minds.
* Blogsite for past articles: http://dalebyers.wordpress.com/
Recently I was especially blessed in my study of 1 John 3:1-3 and thought perhaps you would enjoy my study as well. Often the world seems so busy, so fast and furious, that we fail to slow down and enjoy the scenery. We also miss those principles that God has intended for our lives. Those truths in God’s Book are not only a blessing to enjoy but also disciplines for our daily lives. My goal is to share with you my own individual studies found in the Word of God. Sometimes, our studies are hindered by the pressures of deadlines, or misdirected by an attempt to find something bigger. Our goal may be to please the most readers. I simply want to enjoy the Book with you. I am not out to prove any point or debate any issue or display any special gift or talent. There are so many wonderful truths in the Book. I pray that God will encourage our lives as His Word is presented.
I John 3:1-3
“Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called the children of God! Therefore, the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.”
Have you ever heard the phrase, “One thing leads to another?” There are five great principles that are presented in these verses. You will see how one principle leads to another and that principle leads to the next. Those five principles are essential for our Christian lives. Here is the way those five principles are connected in our text.
1. BEHOLDING leads to >
2. BELIEVING leads to >
3. LOVING leads to >
4. HOPING leads to >
5. LIVING
I hope you will follow with us as we consider this precious portion of God’s Holy Writ. May I suggest that you join me in memorizing these three verses and pray that God will help us live the truths that He brings into our minds.
* Blogsite for past articles: http://dalebyers.wordpress.com/