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The Importance of Eye Contact in Conversation

2/5/2017

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The art of conversation is one that, when studied and applied draws you closer to attaining the dreams you hold dear to your heart. Having read numerous books, articles and even some classes on the subject, I believe not just making noise, but the “art” of conversation, is somewhere near the top of skills demanded in civilized society.
 
With the above said, I answer a serious question put to me by a man I was mentoring and his question was simple: “Larry, can you put the essence of the art of conversation in one sentence?” Thankfully I had that very morning came across one and I blurted out the answer rapid fire:
 
“The most important person is the one you are with in this moment.” Leo Tolstoy.
 
The most flowery words ever spoken by mortal tongue will zip right over the person’s head if the person senses you are looking over their shoulder to ascertain whether someone deemed more important has entered the room. We all do such and we all have experienced having it happen to us. If we do this, we may as well state; “I’m sorry but someone more important just stepped in and I must give my attention to him or her.” (If you look over your wife or loved one’s shoulder and they turn around to see what/who you are looking at, it will be helpful if the object of your gaze is Not a stunning young blonde!) Just saying.
 
Peter knew and used this principle of concentrating on the person you are with when he was used of the Spirit to heal the lame man outside the Temple as noted here:
 
Acts 3:4 And fixing his eyes on him, with John, Peter said, "Look at us."
 
You may also recall that when Moses came from the mountain, having received the Law from the finger of God, his face glowed with the glory of God so that the people could not look at him. We Christians must understand that when we are walking with Jesus people often have a hard time looking us in the eye. It is noticeable that Christians who are playing around with things not befitting a child of the King, often have a hard time looking others in the eye.
 
You will find, as you sharpen the art of conversation, that you will accomplish more and help more people if you learn the art of eye contact, as long the eye is not communicating a judgement verdict, but one of understanding. Humans are supposed to understand the plight of those who are coming short of expectation and to have at least a little mercy. John 8 is a good textbook lesson on this.
 
Copyright © 2017 Larry Lilly
 Eye opening IT. Oral Deckard
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