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Overcoming The Fear of Relational Rejection

4/7/2015

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Over the course of my life which is now past the biblical three score and ten, I have noticed a few things about relationship rejection. By this term I mean rejection by a parent or both parents, or sibling rejection which goes far beyond sibling rivalry and into the realm of your own marriage. I have observed that many people seem to be rejection magnets.

These poor souls live under the cloud of knowing they are rejected, their personality clashes with whoever is in the room, or on the team. Sometimes these men and women are excellent at what they are able to do on an athletic field, play an instrument or even become a Top Gun Navy Fighter Pilot, yet in spite of enormous ability they feel, correctly, that they are on the outside looking in.

On many occasions these “rejects” suffer so much pain due to being rejected that they take their own life. I have known more than a few to do this, some as early the sixth grade. Even preachers going through a tough time that will certainly entail a period of rejection have pulled the trigger, taken a pill/put a rope around their neck or a bag over their head. Solemn truths.

I would be careful of taking rejection very seriously and I would be even more careful of being one that makes a habit of rejecting others. We suffer rejection for a number of reasons. Those doing the rejecting do so hoping to protect themselves, please God by building a wall between themselves and the filthy rejectee or to punish the rejectee.   


Many sects covering a broad scope of religious profession engage in “group rejection.” In other words the group rejects the offender for whatever reason. Of course solid scriptural grounds are posited for said rejection. Outside observers usually see the green eyed monster of jealously lurking behind many of these decisions.

Ways to cope with rejection by “the” group are legion and most are self-defeating as we learn from the Lord’s dealing with Elijah who coped by telling himself he was the only true prophet left. God gently rebuked him with the truth that God had over seven thousand who had not bowed the knee to the false god Baal. To make matters worse the Lord was using some of “them.” So in or out, simply serve Jesus where you are with what you have and do as Edwin Markham wrote long ago; “They drew a circle and shut me out. I drew a larger circle and included them.” It’s hard to find a better method.

Personal relationship rejection is much harder in that often the rejected person has little or no way to fight back. That’s why adults practicing rejection against a young person need to have their head examined. The only perfect person to walk the earth was and is rejected by the vast majority. Yet He stands ready to help you overcome rejection by promising to accept you.

Notice what Jesus said in John 6:37, “All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.=Reject!!”


Copyright © 2015  Larry Lilly

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