Larry & Joyce One of the most terrifying and destructive fears in life is the fear of parental rejection. And it is more common than you may think. In many families, especially large ones, there is the child who simply doesn’t fit the family model. And though often nothing is said out loud, the child senses the rejection. I talked with a father and daughter the other day. The daughter was well into her thirties, her father pushing sixty.
The woman said that she always felt as though her dad didn’t really like her. He dearly loved the other children and showed it, while keeping a wall of coldness between himself and his daughter.
I asked the father about this and he readily admitted struggling for years as to why the wall, why the seeming inability to let love flow from him to his daughter. As a Christian he was really concerned about this. The woman had lived most of her aware life wondering, “What’s wrong with me?”
Some, if not most people that experience this type of rejection, never get over it. This father had said he asked himself and God a million times, “Why don’t I like-----?”
I certainly don’t have all the answers to the why of this, but I do have a little insight from the Bible that may help you to get on with living God’s plan for you. Let me share an encapsulated story of the British actress and media star, Carol Vordeman:
“There was a great strain in our family because my father didn't want anything to do with me. He was happy to see my brother and sister, but not me. I don't know why. Maybe it was shame. I don't know. But he never wanted anything to do with me. That rejection was terribly hurtful and it went on for years.”
Carol doesn’t say how it worked out, and I doubt that it did. Sometimes in life you simply just have to go on understanding that in a better land you will understand.
It’s a terrible thing to live your live constantly wondering “What IS wrong with me?” Truthfully you may have a serious problem that good human relations training may help, but then you may realize the human relations trainer is working out his or her problem having its roots in the same problem you’re attempting to resolve.
One of the facets in this problem of parental rejection, and thus a pattern of rejection, is based on the fact that we tend to try to pour each other into a mold. The mold is made of our ideas concerning how people should be, how they should speak, look, and even what and who they should think like. If you are not of that bent, you and the person trying to bend you to their mold are in for misery. Here’s some help:
Romans 12:2 “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
Read the entire chapter and discover that you are to submit to Christ and as He is the Potter and you are the clay He will shape you into the grand person He wants you be. Other molds are at best miserable.
Copyright © 2015 Larry Lilly
For great IT work contact Oral Deckard
The woman said that she always felt as though her dad didn’t really like her. He dearly loved the other children and showed it, while keeping a wall of coldness between himself and his daughter.
I asked the father about this and he readily admitted struggling for years as to why the wall, why the seeming inability to let love flow from him to his daughter. As a Christian he was really concerned about this. The woman had lived most of her aware life wondering, “What’s wrong with me?”
Some, if not most people that experience this type of rejection, never get over it. This father had said he asked himself and God a million times, “Why don’t I like-----?”
I certainly don’t have all the answers to the why of this, but I do have a little insight from the Bible that may help you to get on with living God’s plan for you. Let me share an encapsulated story of the British actress and media star, Carol Vordeman:
“There was a great strain in our family because my father didn't want anything to do with me. He was happy to see my brother and sister, but not me. I don't know why. Maybe it was shame. I don't know. But he never wanted anything to do with me. That rejection was terribly hurtful and it went on for years.”
Carol doesn’t say how it worked out, and I doubt that it did. Sometimes in life you simply just have to go on understanding that in a better land you will understand.
It’s a terrible thing to live your live constantly wondering “What IS wrong with me?” Truthfully you may have a serious problem that good human relations training may help, but then you may realize the human relations trainer is working out his or her problem having its roots in the same problem you’re attempting to resolve.
One of the facets in this problem of parental rejection, and thus a pattern of rejection, is based on the fact that we tend to try to pour each other into a mold. The mold is made of our ideas concerning how people should be, how they should speak, look, and even what and who they should think like. If you are not of that bent, you and the person trying to bend you to their mold are in for misery. Here’s some help:
Romans 12:2 “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
Read the entire chapter and discover that you are to submit to Christ and as He is the Potter and you are the clay He will shape you into the grand person He wants you be. Other molds are at best miserable.
Copyright © 2015 Larry Lilly
For great IT work contact Oral Deckard
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