Alexandra Ripley has a good take on this. See what you think:
“Should-haves solve nothing. It's the next thing to happen that needs thinking about.”
Perhaps a minute or two of should haves is more than enough. Years ago Norman Vincent Peale suggested changing from “should have” to “Next time.”
“Should have” takes many forms such as if only, why didn’t I do this or that, what was I thinking, why did I listen to them? None of these statements/ideas contribute one ounce toward changing future behavior or future results.
Many conversations with men and women have brought to the fore a future killing mind-set, a mind-set that is used to tell the inner person, “You, know after mistakes like this, it’s over for me. I blew my last chance.” No such statement is true, unless you insist on reprograming your mind and heart to believe such nonsense.
Over the years most of us have had our share of hard knocks. I know I have. But through the example of peers and leaders who have suffered temporary defeats, such as my early Pastor, Dr. Tom Wallace, and later Dr. Greg Dixon, I observed that they shook off whatever came with a particular defeat, got up, set their face toward the prize and kept on trying. Walter Payton meant the same mind set when he wrote:
“Never die easy. Why run out of bounds and die easy? Make that linebacker pay. It carries into all facets of your life. It's okay to lose, to die, but don't die without trying, without giving it your best.” Walter Payton.
As Christians we do not have to spend much of our life figuring out what the Lord asks of us as we move from simply being children by virtue of the new birth, into useful soldiers, (Disciples) that God uses to further His purposes in the earth. An old song has this line, “It’s my desire to be like Jesus,” this desire, while at first undefined, becomes honed to a sharp edge as we move toward what we perceive as His plan for our life on earth. Often we seem to take missteps, yet, over the long haul, we come to the realization that what we thought were missteps were in truth stepping stones to a clearer understanding as to where and to “what” He is leading. We learn, among other things, that life is wonderful! Especially when you give it all you have with all your heart.
IT work by the Greatest! Oral Deckard