There's a better way to do this! Several years ago I spent a lot of time helping clergy couples experiencing problems in their marriage relationship. Many really had no relationship, but did have well defined battle zones which they used at will. There were several outstanding successes along this journey and a friend asked me to reveal the secret.
Reveal the secret? I am not a magician or a philosopher on loan from another planet. I am merely a married man who has a wife who helps me out when we get too many well marked battle lines. Counselors of whatever stripe usually listen closely while the counselees communicate their woes which means, they tell you what’s wrong with the other person.
As Joyce and I left a session, I had a long list of negatives about the couple that appeared insurmountable. Joyce, on the other hand had an equally long list of what she described as “golden apples,” positive qualities, traits etc. that gave her hope of helping the couple to re-establish a decent Christ honoring life with each other. In the ensuing days, as we turned the sessions toward the tremendous good qualities, the couple began embracing the “golden apple” truth about each other and went on to a much healthier and happier life.
A lot of the troubles in life spin into major problems due to a failure to find some good and work from a positive platform toward solving the negatives. Two opposing negatives do not solve anything, but escalate into bigger and bitter differences.
In most if not all situations a line from King Solomon is magical in its power to produce positive results:
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” Proverbs 25:11.
Copyright © 2014 Larry Lilly
For IT services it's hard to do better than clicking Oral Deckard
Reveal the secret? I am not a magician or a philosopher on loan from another planet. I am merely a married man who has a wife who helps me out when we get too many well marked battle lines. Counselors of whatever stripe usually listen closely while the counselees communicate their woes which means, they tell you what’s wrong with the other person.
As Joyce and I left a session, I had a long list of negatives about the couple that appeared insurmountable. Joyce, on the other hand had an equally long list of what she described as “golden apples,” positive qualities, traits etc. that gave her hope of helping the couple to re-establish a decent Christ honoring life with each other. In the ensuing days, as we turned the sessions toward the tremendous good qualities, the couple began embracing the “golden apple” truth about each other and went on to a much healthier and happier life.
A lot of the troubles in life spin into major problems due to a failure to find some good and work from a positive platform toward solving the negatives. Two opposing negatives do not solve anything, but escalate into bigger and bitter differences.
In most if not all situations a line from King Solomon is magical in its power to produce positive results:
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” Proverbs 25:11.
Copyright © 2014 Larry Lilly
For IT services it's hard to do better than clicking Oral Deckard
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