“I believe that individuals nowadays are probably more aware of their inner loneliness than has ever been true before in history.” Carl R. Rodgers, On Encounter Groups.
While making a visit to a friend in the hospital, Joyce and I both were captured by a statement the friend made about her childhood fascination with her childhood home. Her Dad and Mom had driven her and the family to see the farm they were buying. Upon exiting the car, Marsha, about five years old, ran from the car and tried to wrap her arms around a large Oak Tree, all the while shouting “I am Home!” She stated that on that day she knew she was Home and that sense of home has never left her. She still lives Home and is deeply satisfied.
Joyce, ever the wise bride of my youth remarked, “Larry you have never felt at home at any place, have you?” I confessed, that though I have roamed the country since a teenager hitchhiking from Elkton, MD to Pacoima, CA, no, I have never felt like I was home. One of the reasons I went to California on my thumb was that I never felt at home, no matter where I had roamed up to that time. Now, 60 years later, I have yet to feel the rush that comes to others from being “Home.”
Keep in mind that we have lived in the same house for 25 years, I have pastored the same church for 26 years come Father’s Day this year. Myriads of people love me as a pastor, friend and spiritual advisor. After 52 year of marriage Joyce thinks I am the greatest thing since Ice Cream, my congregation is still wild about me and 4 rescued dogs are totally bonkers about me. Yet, yet the “Home” thing has never registered.
Dr. Rodgers would most likely have posited, “Larry, you suffer loneliness.” I of course would disagree. I am content to be alone. Years ago I learned to build invisible walls, behind which I enjoy the solitary life. I come out from behind the walls, to do the things humans are supposed to do, such as showing myself friendly and thus I have friends and associates.
There is a vast difference between not sensing the wonder of “Home” and being lonely. I have seldom had the sense of lonely. Even God Himself said, “It’s not good for man to be alone.” He made a wife for Adam to be the major cure for feeling “alone.” I know, sometimes cures can be painful! (Do Not Send This to Joyce).
Mel Branham, Native American philosopher, friend and cousin said to me; “Larry, no matter how you feel, millions of people feel the same way. It’s the human condition. If Jesus is in your heart, there is a longing for the real home, His place you might call it. He may teach you the truth that home is where the heart is, and thus no matter in what place you find yourself, your heart makes it home.” Such stuff from an Indian who walks with Jesus.
Copyright © 2016 Larry Lilly
Great IT work here: Oral Deckard