It's my opinion that the progress of the stages depends on the level of commitment the grieving person had to the loss, whether it is a person, place or something.
"The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief." Original from Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. Kübler-Ross noted later in life that the stages are not a linear and predictable progression and that she regretted writing them in a way that was misunderstood. Rather, these are a collation of five common experiences for the bereaved that can occur in any order, if at all.
The term, bereaved, is one that makes the subject of grief easier to identify and thus deal with, even if just a little at a time.
Sometimes grief takes over long after a loss when it dawns on us that what we lost, through not appreciating the value of the person or thing, overwhelms us. It’s rather obvious that this type of delayed grief was active in the life of Jacob and Esau. In Jacob, living in fear brought by his deceptive nature and using the weakness of Esau and the conniving of his mother to gain the birthright. In Esau, becoming a man of the world when he grasped the importance of what he forfeited for a bowl of soup.
Years ago, as I was taking care of a few things at the office, I heard the noise of an 18-wheeler pulling into our parking lot. A large man got out of truck and made his way toward me. I introduced myself and he told me his name and he wanted to talk. We walked back to my office and this mountain of a man began to weep. I let him. When he was composed enough he told me his story. He took his wife and children for granted, and the good-sized church he pastored. And due to his own improper actions lost the pastorate and his family. It took some time, but as he was driving by our church the reality of what he had lost hit him like a ton of bricks. I’m sure the same thing happened to Jacob and Esau.
Most of us have something in our yesterday that we would handle differently now that we have more information and perhaps pain. This is where acceptance and moving on comes to bear. We cannot unscramble eggs, but scrambled eggs can make a healthy meal. So, when we give yesterday to the Lord who loves us the healing begins. Jacob and Esau faced each other and Jacob moved on, though Esau doesn’t seem to have made much progress in a positive way.
Copyright © 2016 Larry Lilly
IT Work by a pro. Oral Deckard
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